Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
