I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
