Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
