apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize