Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
