break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
