It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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