Whats the glycemic index on semen?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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