last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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