Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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