whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
