I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
