I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
