i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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