TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
