Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.

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(317): View more from Indiana

It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.

Fav 25 3159 1271
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(314): View more from Missouri

I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid

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(352): View more from Florida

This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode

Fav 10 3923 1289
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(714): View more from California

The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.

Fav 12 2748 1298
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(703): View more from Virginia

that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis

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(775): View more from Nevada

If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.

Fav 1 1066 463
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??

Fav 2 916 576
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(406): View more from Montana

Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.

Fav 0 44 37
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