so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
