he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize