# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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