I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
