She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
