How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
