I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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