I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
