don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
