Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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