sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
