we're blogging at a bar
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
