i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
