Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
