Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
