I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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