Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
