the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I lost the right to judge tonight
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize