We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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