Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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