Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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