Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
your like the ambassador to my penis.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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