dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
tell me about the eggs
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
