I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
