Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
