No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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