Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
