he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
