super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Randomize
