Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
