I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
