TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
