More tranny stories later!
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
