just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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