R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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