If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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