by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
