Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
