I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize