What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
