Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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