god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
