I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
