Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
