whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You don't make any sense
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