Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
