So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
