I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
