she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
