If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
