The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
4 words: hood of his car
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I would fuck him just for his dog
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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