I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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