i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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