Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
